When I was in high school, I heard about this guy obsessed with his girlfriend’s sanitary pads. His name was Alexis. Alexis did not have many friends. His gothic style added to his blackheads and this odd rumor had probably something to do with it. Doctors name these weird obsessions: “paraphilia”. Can you come being wrapped up with mohair? Do women pumping gas pedal secretly excite you? Period-lover- Alexis, is that you reading me??!
If the answer is yes, you might be suffering from paraphilia. (Well, suffering … I mean … enjoying? God, you know what I mean!)
Indeed, as of today, you can call me Christopher Columbus, or Freud, or even “High Priestess of beauty and life” if you like. I assume I have discovered a new paraphilia yesterday.
Airplane crash lovers.
First, I was expecting to tell you about a new app named “Am I going down?” (And in fact, I will!). But then, as usual, I lost myself in the deep web (i.e. Google image search). I was absolutely amazed to see how many stylish pictures of airplane crash I could discover. You can try it at home with the keyword “airplane crash wallpaper”. I don’t talk about ugly news report pictures but real pieces of crazy art. For crazy airplanecrashophiles. The pictures are photoshopped, modified with some “Nashville” Instagram filter, incredibly polished and delightfully old-fashioned.
Maybe the "Am I going down" app has been created by one of these artists of our time. Or maybe by a group of friends during a bachelor party. Anyway, the aim of this genius app is to inform you of the risks for your plane to crash. Given the date, your airline company, the weather and the type of aircraft you are flying in, the app calculated your chances to die. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but the app never admits that you are going to kick the bucket with your 8 dollars pack of chips and the fat lady next to you.
The answer will always be like:
“Don’t worry, there's a one in 4,068,434 chance that your flight will go down!”
So sorry. It is a fact that nobody wants to tell you the truth: neither your cheating wife nor this useless app.